Hi my name is T***. I saw a blog you posted regarding domme work. My friend and I are interested in this type of work. Would you please email me any information you have about finding a job as a dominatrix?
Thank you
Dear T, thanks for the note!
I've said before that phone is a great way to start - but given that my phone site has been down for over a week, I'm not the biggest advocate of that at the moment.
If you want to do live sessions the best way to start is by working with another Domme in your area. Larger Dungeons in big cities do hire, and will usually train. If you are in a smaller city you could try looking for a local Domme on Collarme.com or MaxFisch. Clients sometimes ask for two-girl sessions. I got my start at Foot Fetish parties, you could look for those or other fetish parties in your area. I'd warn against meeting strangers until you have worked with another Domme and found a secure neutral location (not his place or yours) to do your session in. Ropes, electroplay and other advanced bondage techniques do require some training, much of D/s is verbal and I personally feel it should come naturally but it can be cultivated through on-line play or phone.
If you have not already established a "stage name", you may want to do so. As a ProDomme having a stage name serves two very important purposes, first - safety. You don't want your clients knowing your real name, and second - a stage name creates a safe space to play, it's helps you compartmentalize the experiences you'll have, this it especially important when you are dating and domme-ing.
Lastly, set your limits. If there is anything you feel like you would never do, don't bend on that - not for a session. If there are things you might maybe do with an established slave but not a first time session, hold fast on that - sell it. The biggest trick in this industry is selling the fantasy, not giving your sub everything he asked for is actually very good business. This took time for me to learn, women are givers, it's a job and you want to do it well but this job requires an element of fantasy, let there always be a brass ring to grasp.
Good luck, and let me know how it goes!
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Hey there!
ReplyDeleteGood to see you tackling this subject. I do a LOT of phone-domme work, and am looking at diversifying my holdings, as it were. The two things that are holding me back are 1) getting the money together to start up yet _another_ web site and 2) finding a pro domme willing to take me on (and getting money together for that apprenticeship).
Well, and I sometimes wonder if every domme work done for money has the same problem--that the person giving the money sets the parameters and gets to say, bottom line, how things go. Customer is king, and all that.
Like, if I'm domme-ing for fun, I will pick certain things and run those out for miles and miles, and I will make the sub run with me until he or she is dropping, and I'll make bloody sure that they're liking it. But if someone's paying me, and I want them as a repeat customer, it seems to me that I will always have to subject a little fraction of my domme instinct to the almighty dollar. That's definitely the way it is on the phone; is that your experience in real-life domme work?
Hello DIYDomme,
ReplyDeleteI have a related question. I've been going to foot parties for a little over a year now, and have had one session with a sub outside of the parties. I am wondering, what advice do you have for acquiring a personal submissive? You know, the kind who just serve you (mostly household chores is what I need), but whom you don't date? (It's hard enough meeting someone you like enough to date, let alone requiring that person to be a sub wanting to do all your housework.)
Obviously, there are the standard safety concerns. Aside from the foot parties, I would meet most potential subs online -- even the footparties only happen a couple/a few times a year and it's not a good enough way to get to know someone well enough to invite them to your house. And online seems equally difficult, but I really really want to meet someone I can trust not to be a lunatic who will serve me!
I suppose I could have some sessions in a local dungeon and once a relationship is established and the sub is vetted, invite them to my house, but that is very time-intensive. I just need some quick n dirty help with folding my clothes that pile up every week, and which I hate doing, sigh!! So I really want to get on this, and don't want to have to see someone in person multiple times. Is that reasonable?
Thanks in advance!
And also, I am assuming the personal submissives do *not* pay you? I suppose if we're doing something *he* wants to do, like clean naked, then I would charge him, but if it's just him doing what *i* want him to do, I shouldnt charge?
ReplyDeleteThanks in advance!