Hello internet,
For my first post I thought I would introduce myself, and tell you all how I became The
DIY Domme. It's a gentle story, my goal here is to show you the gentler side of
BDSM. Most of the
Dommes I know are
crafty in the yarn and felt way, we are not wicked women - we are the girls next door, you are just living in the wrong house.
Once upon a time there was a unemployed .
commer with really hot feet, she was trying on some shoes she only wished she could afford when her fairy fetish sister invited her to a foot fetish party.
It was early 2002, a very strange time in NYC. People were suddenly getting creative, or if they could afford it, capricious. I was on the creative end, I had lost my Manhattan media job and the apartment that went with it, I moved in with some NYU students in Brooklyn, I liked it because there was a sewing machine in the apartment. I made clothes, and sold them in local boutiques, the stuff that didn't look shop-ready I would take to swap meets.
I had a lot of stuff for the east village flea market one Saturday, I got there too late to secure both a clothing rack and a table. I overheard a girl in fuzzy boots stomping around with the reverse
dilemma -she had a table, and I had a rack. Sales sucked, we made almost nothing. I
was modelling a a pair of her shoes, and she told me I had beautiful feet. I can't recall exactly how she worded her invitation, but it was something like "do you want to make some money?" Of course, I said "what do I have to do?". She told me I didn't have to do anything I didn't want to do, and that I could wear whatever I wanted.
She didn't tell me much about what to expect, or what to do - she said not to do any
footjobs, because it's illegal. I recoiled and she assured me I wouldn't have to see any dick. I was unsure, it sounded scary. I had never done any type of sex work, lots of girls I have known stripped at one point but I've always known it's not for me, I'd be the pretty,but bored-looking one. A
roommate talked me into it, she told me I just needed to get into
character, and that my
character should be a
waspy little bitch. So I showed up after dropping some clothes at a boutique, I told myself I could leave if I didn't like it.
It was at Paddles, a kind of
boring kink club -it just never seems full.
There is a bar, and a stage but nothings really happening at either. There are all these booths and tables, I just parked myself in a booth to wait for my friend and a guy sat down with me. The only light in the place was
blacklight, the white spider-web on his black sneaker was glaring.
Not knowing what one wears to a foot-fetish party, I opted for a miniskirt and legwarmers of my own design. The legwarmers confused the
footfetishists. I was hiding part of my leg, was I hiding something? a gruesome scar? bionic shins? I sold a pair of my legwarmers to a black girl in the bathroom, she told me that I "look just like Sarah Jessica Parker in Sex and The City". The most degrading park of the evening was knowing that I liked being compared to
SJP in
SATC.
The sessions were totally tame, the guy with the spiderwebs claimed it was his first time too and he paid me well for a G-rated foot massage. There were a few
lickers, and I did a bit of trampling (I had most of my weight on a table). They were all so polite, they praised me and worshiped my feet. I walked in thinking that sex work was degrading, but I walked out feeling fabulous. I made a few hundred in a few hours, and I only took my shoes off. The other girls were funny and savvy. We had found this niche, and we were working it.
From the parties, I started doing sessions. I I do have a fabulous shoe collection I don't have a lick of dedicated fetish attire. Not in 2002, not today. I'm allergic to latex, and I think fetish leather is a little corny. It's great for some people, just not me. I prefer leather in shoes gloves and handbags rather than bikinis and chaps. I've made allot of my fetish gear by customizing swim or underwear. I like to mix in designer pieces with stuff tween stores like forever21. Domme work never fully supported me, it paid for some trips and baubles Model work can be erratic, it filled in the holes. It was easier than trying to find a real relationship with a sub, and it was fun,
These days I am mostly retired from the dungeon, I occasionally take sessions with old favorites, or even more occasionally someone I met online. I take calls on a phone service called
NiteFlirt, and I truly love it, it's the only job I have ever wanted to do on the weekends. I get to speak with the most interesting people, and it's such a safe space. For someone interested in
Domme work, I would say phone work is a great way to learn the landscape.
(The blue button down up there is a link to me on NiteFlirt)
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