Not Your Toy

"It's all false love and affection
You don't want me you just like the attention"

I learned a new word today, Propinquity.

Propinquity can mean physical proximity, a kinship between people, or a similarity in nature between things. It's a way we comfort ourselves, and it's a part of this job.

3 steps to the softest soles ever

Most submissive men love feet, I've always attracted foot-fetishists not just becxause I have great feet, but because I really love my feet.

I don't have TV, but I remember seeing a commercial while at a relatives house a few years ago for a product called ped-egg, when I saw one one at walgreens I decided to give it a try. It's like a little pink wood rasp, with a catch all for the dead skin (it's pretty gross when it's time to empty it) but the thing is amazing, it takes the dry skin off fast and painlessly, just don't use it when your skin is wet or still supple from a bath or swim, you could take off too much that way.

This has been my bedtime routine all summer (when I'm home at a decent hour) and my feet are amazing, buttery soft and not a callus. Sandals are always tough on my feed, I get rough patches on my heel and my big toe (from high heels) I just work those spots over with the ped egg (step one)

The, moisturize I use coco butter because it really sticks to the skin for step three. I like the solid, pure coco butter, it needs to be warmed a little, your skin will warm it. After you get feed greased up (step 2)

Put a pair socks on (step 3)

Then go to bed, you'll wake up with the softest feet ever, It's best to use a really thick, oily moisturizer that will stay on your feet and not get soaked up by the socks.

Maybe if someone calls and asks really nicely, I'll document the process in video or photo. sweet dreams.

one year later

I started this blog a little more than a year ago, it's been a strange year, I moved - that always brings all the crap you've been hiding back up and. I had a major heartbreak from the only person I've ever been involved with sexually who really knew what I do. That happened weeks after the niteflirt site problems, my last 10 months have been rather low-kink, I miss it.

Compared with most girls who work in the sex industry, my experiences have been very tame. I did a few sessions, went to a couple parties but was always most comfortable on the phone. I never stripped or did escort work, I had very little face to face interaction with clients and was fully removed from their lives. When I had a customer call every day, I thought it was me he was responding to - not his own desires that had become ingrained habits, it didn't occur to me that he could be doing this every night for years, it was a new experience for me. I was deeply hurt the first time I saw my special guy had left feedback for another girl on niteflirt, and saddened when I learned he's been a regular for years.

I didn't have the experience that strippers have, I never dealt with the rejection of a regular customer moving on to someone else, another version of you, and the realization that to them, you were just a girl who fit the mold, but apparently not as well as the next girl. We get older, and younger girls start working, the supply is endless. It has nothing to do with you personally, most of these men have intimacy issues going back years, maybe you look like a girl from his freshman year science glass, or a favorite stripper. They didn't come for you, the girl is just a player in the scene. It's a job like anything else, your role is set, waitress bring people food, phone sex operators act out fantasies. If you are good at your job, you get repeat business. It's a compliment, but it's not a commitment. On my end, I can pretend the caller is whoever I want, a business traveller or just a normal guy who feels stuck in a sexless marriage, tall sexy men with dark hair and blue eyes like a Disney prince who cherish these stolen moments (that they pay for by credit card). The reality is it's mostly single men who are unable to sustain relationships, and we are their enablers.

Niteflirt's technical problems have been illuminating as well, there has been very little solidarity from the flirts and even less support from the service provider, I know I have said this before but I'll say it again, if niteflirt was ebay we would have this mess sorted out by now. Society is more accepting of people who sell fake designer handbags than they are of the women who are keeping sexual deviants occupied and giving them an outlet.

I wish I had some words of encouragement for the girls who read here for pro-domme tips, the most important thing to know - don't quit your day job. For me, this was a plan B and this is a time when my plan A is bankrupt. The thing to know about ProDomme is more like a trapeze than a safety net, you might get lucky and have a good run, but at the end of the day you are a circus freak.