Valentine's day must have's

What better time of year to show love than freezing cold February?

My amazon wish list has a few suggestions;

The Botkier trigger moto,
I have a larger version of this person, this would be perfect for nights out

Long earrings show off my neck



And I could answer your emails so much faster on a pink computer, I'm sure to be very sweet to whoever stuffs my stockings with this



And there is more...

Click here to browse and spoil

The kind of porn I like..

I don't watch porn much, but when I do, I want to be impressed.

No little inchers for me, when I'm watching action on the screen I like it to be big, black and longer than a food.

Like This Video on youporn.com.

I sometimes get asked about femdom video, no - I do not know any good ones. Most of what I have seen is theatrical and fills a subs head with all kinds of silly ideas. I have seen some OK hypno ones and am working on a high-heel hypno bit that I'll eventually record as a vid.

I saw myself on the blogroll at Camryn More today, thanks!

Happy New Year

Hey gang, sorry it's been awhile. I had heartbreak then the holidays.


So, I'm gonna try to update more, at least once a week - if only to let you know what shoes I am oogling. I wish I had good news about niteflirt, the site is still having some issues, calls mostly connect but I can't feature my listings anymore. I miss all the attention and I hope they get things back on track.

Faithful

I've been borderline obsessed with the Alexander McQueen "Faithful" clutch for weeks.

This is the kind of fetish leather I would wear, perhaps with a pair of Chloe motorcycle boots.

Faithfulness is a key trait in a sub, it's unfortunate that there is a strong cross section of submissive fetishists who struggle with sex addictions, and there is nothing faithful about a man who constantly seeks out strangers.

I've found in the past that "breaking in" a "vanilla" man is far simpler than "training" one who identifies as submissive. I recently let my favorite sub go. My gut was telling me that his submissive tendencies were more like fixations, and I worried that if I left him alone he'd start looking for some other Dominant women to buy a McQueen bag for and the way our schedules are leaves him without me allot. He admitted to having a "female attention addiction" and I think thats pretty much the same thing as sex addiction, perhaps with less risk of disease. I'm not going to get into the details - my goal here is to share information with other Dominant women and prospective Dommes, I feel this is worth sharing because many men who have fetishes struggle with these addictions.

Sex addiction has been getting more and more media attention, stars seeking treatment - articles in major news outlets, this one in Elle hits it right on the head.

I'm open minded, I don't expect that a man will never go to a strip club or look at porn. All guys look, but not every guy looks every day.

As I get back on the horse this time I'll be seeking a vanilla connection and a lifestyle match outside the bedroom first, getting guys to do what I want in bed has never been a problem for me.

I'll try to post more, I appreciate the notes and calls. Niteflirt is still acting wonky, but my most faithful callers have been getting through.

Question from a reader

Hi my name is T***. I saw a blog you posted regarding domme work. My friend and I are interested in this type of work. Would you please email me any information you have about finding a job as a dominatrix?
Thank you

Dear T, thanks for the note!

I've said before that phone is a great way to start - but given that my phone site has been down for over a week, I'm not the biggest advocate of that at the moment.

If you want to do live sessions the best way to start is by working with another Domme in your area. Larger Dungeons in big cities do hire, and will usually train. If you are in a smaller city you could try looking for a local Domme on Collarme.com or MaxFisch. Clients sometimes ask for two-girl sessions. I got my start at Foot Fetish parties, you could look for those or other fetish parties in your area. I'd warn against meeting strangers until you have worked with another Domme and found a secure neutral location (not his place or yours) to do your session in. Ropes, electroplay and other advanced bondage techniques do require some training, much of D/s is verbal and I personally feel it should come naturally but it can be cultivated through on-line play or phone.

If you have not already established a "stage name", you may want to do so. As a ProDomme having a stage name serves two very important purposes, first - safety. You don't want your clients knowing your real name, and second - a stage name creates a safe space to play, it's helps you compartmentalize the experiences you'll have, this it especially important when you are dating and domme-ing.

Lastly, set your limits. If there is anything you feel like you would never do, don't bend on that - not for a session. If there are things you might maybe do with an established slave but not a first time session, hold fast on that - sell it. The biggest trick in this industry is selling the fantasy, not giving your sub everything he asked for is actually very good business. This took time for me to learn, women are givers, it's a job and you want to do it well but this job requires an element of fantasy, let there always be a brass ring to grasp.

Good luck, and let me know how it goes!

NiteFlirt Down

As I am sure some of you noticed, NiteFlirt is down. I just got my cam hooked up and was really looking forward to getting on it this week. Apparently they will be down another week. If you contact me via email we can work something out via amazon gift cards or something of the like.

reach me at;

diydommeblog@gmail.com

This was posted in the speaker forum on NiteFlirt, from the support team as a general announcement to all flirts;

"I know your mad and you have a right to be. And no matter what I say, you will still be mad. I’m not even going to try and say something that I think will make you feel better. We know we made a mistake and we know it is going to take a lot to get back in your good graces."


Good to know I'm not the only one who is steamed about this, we flirts had no notice prior to the outage. I curious what, if anything they will do to "get back in our good graces". They could try paying us faster, the old system worked fine - my only complaint was the 10 days it took to get direct deposit with a %2 fee. They could try paying us more, they currently get about %60 of our earning.

The fairest of the wars

I did not start this blog to talk about my personal life, suffice to say - that would be very complicated. I'm going through some stuff, I'd like to be posting more - I appreciate the phone calls, I really do.

Here is what I can tell you, running errands today these two songs were speaking to me through my MP3 player.

The first is from Nico, you might remember this from The Royal Tenenbaums, or maybe - like me, you are a Velvet Underground fan. Maybe you remember Nico as the Warhol factory muse who fell of her bicycle and died... the song is Fairest of the Seasons

Now that it's time
Now that the hour hand has landed at the end
Now that it's real
Now that the dreams have given all they had to lend
I want to know do I stay or do I go
And maybe try another time
And do I really have a hand in my forgetting ?

Now that I've tried
Now that I've finally found that this is not the way,
Now that I turn
Now that I feel it's time to spend the night away
I want to know do I stay or do I go
And maybe finally split the rhyme
And do I really understand the undernetting ?

Yes and the morning has me
Looking in your eyes
And seeing mine warning me
To read the signs carefully.

Now that it's light
Now that the candle's falling smaller in my mind
Now that it's here
Now that I'm almost not so very far behind
I want to know do I stay or do I go
And maybe follow another sign
And do I really have a song that I can ride on ?


The second is from TV on the Radio, the song is I was a Lover a band I could tell you personal stories about from my Brooklyn days, and maybe someday I will, for now I leave you with this and am off to Brooklyn myself to dance away at least some of my problems.

I was a lover, before this war
held up in a luxury suite, behind a barricaded door
now that I've cleaned up, gone legit
I can see clearly: round hole
round whole, square peg don't fit

I'm locked in my bedroom, so send back the clowns
my clone wears a brown shirt, and I seduce him when there's no one around
mano y mano, on a bed of nails
bring it on like a storm, till I knock the wind out of his sails
And we don't make eye contact, when we have run-in's in town
just a barely polite nod, and nervous stares towards the ground
I once joined a priest class, plastic, inert
in a slowdance with commerce
like a lens up a skirt

And we liked to party
and we kept it live
and we had a three volume tome of contemporary slang
to keep a handle on all this jive